When dealing with my my current (and eternal) struggle for dealing appropriately (not just “nicely”) with others, it was pointed out to me that the tip I was missing was in the Wiccan Rede all along.
“Fairly Take, Fairly Give“.
I’ve always seen that line as meaning “Don’t take too much, Don’t give too little“.
However, I hadn’t looked at it from the flip side: “Don’t give too much, Don’t take too little“.
Fairness works both ways, and I’ve been shortchanging myself by not enforcing fairness on the flip side.
As part of being a “responsible person”, part of that duty is to enforce fairness towards yourself, not just others.
It’s not selfish… it’s responsible.